deeks' son

"With KC."

"Is he okay? Is he safe?"

"Yes."

He looked relieved, settling down, wincing when he moved his shoulder.

"Who are they?"

He saw the look on her face. "He's my son. Kensi, I'm sorry. Not that he's my son, I'll never be sorry about that, but...that I didn't tell you. I wanted to, so many times..."

"How long have you known? Are you dating her?"

"The entire time. Almost as long..." He paused. "Almost as long as Mandy did."

"Right. Are you with her?"

"No," he said forcefully, wanting to make that clear. "I'm with you, Kens. I love you."

"Then what were you doing? Why is that house in your name?"

"My dad wasn't like yours, Kens. He was a real...a real bastard. I wanted to take care of my son. He wasn't just Mandy's; he was, is, mine too. I shared custody with her. I bought the house for her. All my money, it wasn't going to Eric, well, not all of it."

Kensi softened a little. "Then you should have said something so I could help." She knew what it was like to lose a parent and what it was like not to have a stable life.

"I wanted to. God, I wanted to, but..." He paused. "He was born when you were overseas. Then when you finally came home..." He paused. "It wasn't the right time either. And then I waited too late."

Kensi sat down. "He needs you now."

He nodded. "Mandy's boyfriend...he was abusing her. I've been so scared that he would start with Wyatt too."

"Did he?"

"She swore no. I finally got her to agree to leave him and..." He closed his eyes.

"It isn't your fault, Deeks."

"I didn't love her. I never loved her. I liked her. But it was...it was a fling and even that was over long before you and I got together. Before or after Afghanistan. You know that, right?"

"Yes."

"I know this is a lot for you to deal with. I don't know how it's going to work. I...I thought about him meeting you, but I never imagined...I never imagined taking care of him full time. Much less..."

"You aren't doing it alone."

"Kens, you don't have to do that. I know this isn't easy. I can't imagine...I can't imagine what you had to have thought. That's why I called Callen tonight."

"I love you. I won't lie. I'm horrible with kids, but I'm willing to try for you. That boy needs you."

"If you want, maybe when I'm with you, I could get babysitters. I'm not arguing that he needs me, but..."

"No. You can leave him with me or maybe even KC. He likes her."

"Can I see him?"

"Sure."

"Can I go home? I'll be careful, but...I don't want him to have to stay at the hospital. He's already so scared."

"You stay here? I'll take him home with me."

"Are you sure?" Part of him wanted her with him, but knew Wyatt would do better at home. "KC would watch him overnight."

"I sort of want to do it."

He nodded. "Okay." He held her hand. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't...I didn't want to keep a secret from you. Not one this big."

"Don't worry about it."

"We're partners. It was a stupid mistake."

"Mistakes happen, Deeks." He still couldn't believe he'd gotten off that easy. The gunshot must be working. He kissed her forehead. "If you don't rest, I'll make that injury worse." She left the room to go back to their friends.

KC was still holding Wyatt in her lap, Callen cradling Sarah. "KC, can I hold him a bit?" Kensi asked shyly.

"Wyatt, this is Kensi. She's a friend of mine." She left out Kensi's connection to Deeks. The little boy nodded shyly, studying Kensi before lifting his hands.

Kensi took him and cuddled him to her. "Hi. Would you like to see Daddy?" He nodded, holding on to her. "Daddy is a bit sore, but he wants to see you, okay?" He nodded again in reply.

"Hey, bud," Deeks smiled when they came back. "I see you met Kensi." Wyatt scrambled to his dad as soon as he was close enough to get there without falling.

"He's a sweet little guy."

"What do we say?"

"Mommy."

Deeks closed his eyes, cradling his son to him, forgetting his arm. He wasn't sure what to say, so he just let his son lay against his chest, rocking him gently.

Kensi came over, tears in her eyes. "Wyatt, can you look up at me for a minute, please?"

He unburied his face from his dad's chest, looking at her as she'd asked.

"Thank you." She took a deep breath. "Wyatt, Mommy is...Mommy is gone." She whispered, knowing that it would be hard for him to hear but also knowing it would be better to hear it now.

"Kens." He wasn't sure how much a not quite two year old would understand about death.

"He needs to know and it's best for him to know now."

"He's twenty three months old. How much do you think he's going to understand?"

"Trust me, he will."

"Please," Deeks said softly.

"Do you want him to keep asking for her?"

"No, but..."

"Then let him listen."

"Please."

"No. Sorry, but he needs to understand."

"How much did you understand at sixteen, Kens? How much did KC understand at seven or eight?"

"More than you think."

"I am asking you. Please."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Not tonight. He's already upset."

"Fine."

"Listen, little man...I need you to go home with Kensi tonight. You'd like that. And I think KC will probably come and bring Sarah too. That sounds like fun." He tried to smile.

"Sawah."

"Sarah." He kissed the little boy's head. "I love you. I'll be home tomorrow. I promise."

Kensi picked up the boy again. "Come on, buddy. Let's go get Sarah."

KC stood when they came back. "He asleep?"

"So you think Deeks is right about not telling him?" asked Kensi, who sounded so much like she was giving up.

"I don't know, honey, but bottom line, it's not my decision. It's between his parents. Would I tell Sarah? Probably not, but that would be my decision."

"Or G's."

"I just don't want him to grow up thinking she abandoned him or anything."

"Oh honey I don't think Deeks is never going to tell him. Just wait until he's older than two."

"He wants his mummy."

"Either way you won't be able to give her to him. All you can do is what she would do if she were here."

"I don't know how to be a mum."

"I didn't either, Kens. I never even had any examples. It's a very much learn on the job experience, but you've got me and I'm sure Michelle would help. Your mom too."

"Promise me you'll be there when I need you, cause I will need you."

"Always."

"Alright, I guess, with Deeks in there, I'm all he has."

"Let G and I help."

"Where is he going to sleep? I don't have a crib."

"He can sleep on a bed, just put the chairs where he can't roll out."

"Okay. What about food? Can I feed him the same stuff I eat?"

"Honey, he's had pizza tonight. I'll make waffles or pancakes in the morning. Then we can go shopping while G and Sam get his things here."

"We have to get stuff for Deeks too. He's going to stay with me as well."

"I would have thought most of his stuff would be here already."

"No."

KC nodded.

Kensi looked at her friend. "How are you so calm?"

"About what, honey?"

"Everything! I feel so confused!"

"Talk to me, Kens."

"I... he's a kid. I don't know how to look after kids. And Deeks promised he would help, but he isn't here, and he can't help, and I don't know what to do..." she panicked.

"You're good with Sarah and I'll be here until Deeks comes home, even after if you need."

"Sarah is a baby, she's easy to look after."

"I'll remind you of that when she's sick or when she wants her G and he's undercover."

Kensi's eyes watered. "I can't do this," she whispered as she looked over to where Callen was playing with Wyatt and Sarah. "How does he do it?"

"I don't know...he just does. He says Kam helps."

"He's so good with them. Wyatt absolutely adores him. I wish I could do that."

"Relax a little."

Kensi looked back at KC. "Right, I can do that."

"Go have fun."

"Of course."

(this one or the one we started last time?)